I know that I am loved – despite my brokenness!
I received a text from a friend of mine who I have not spoken with for some time. In obedience to God, out of the blue, she sent me personal affirmations addressing many of the issues I have been struggling with over the last couple of weeks – the things that have kept me awake at night, have made my stomach churn and have made me cry at random times throughout the day.
First, she reminded me that God loves me. I know that He loves me and that He loves me unconditionally and despite my insecurities and that He loves and accepts me, despite my randomness and my neediness. I have been praying that someone on this planet, someone physical, would love me and reaffirm me in a tangible way, the way He does intangibly. Over the last week, He has shown me that I have someone in my life who thinks I am worth sticking with while I work through my issues, and that I have my friends who know me and love me – her text was a reminder of this.
I have been struggling with NOT believing the negative things that my ex-husband, for most of our 22 years of marriage, said about me, to me, and to my children about me: that I am crazy, that I am mean, that I am selfish, that I am fat, that I am stupid, that I will never amount to anything, that I will never have stable finances, that I will never have anyone to love me (including my children). God used my friend to counter those thoughts and to remind me that I have “planted a lot of positive seeds in my life” and “that (I) have always been a blessing to others and to (her).”
I have been doubting my abilities. I have felt, for many years, that I was to write a book…this is weird on so many levels for me because I have ALWAYS had anxiety about writing (this post is a first step for me). Additionally, I have absolutely no idea what I am supposed to write about and even if I did, why would anyone read it? Unsolicited, my friend in her obedience told me “do not ever doubt yourself” and in a follow-up text reminded me that “(I) am worthy!”
Earlier this morning, I saw a post on Facebook that stood out to me. It was a quote by Socrates – “The secret to change is to focal all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” In confirmation that my journey is in front of me, my friend reminded me that “(I was) on a new journey!”
I am looking forward to this new phase in my life.
I believe, help my unbelief, is my prayer! I also pray that you, the reader, know that you are worthy, you are loved and you have a purpose!
WHAT GINGER KNOWS 